When someone we love struggles with addiction and then tragically suffers an overdose, we’re left reeling from the grief. We’re confronted with difficult questions that feel impossible to answer. Was their overdose intentional? Did they intend to take their own life? Was it an accidental overdose? Should I have seen this coming? A loved one’s overdose can be one of the most unspeakably painful, traumatic, and confusing things we may ever experience in our lives.
We may have watched our loved one struggle for years to cope with an illness that completely took over their lives. Now, sadly, that illness has taken their life. Where do we go from here? How do we cope with a loved one’s overdose?
Grief Counseling After a Loved One’s Overdose
One of the best things we can do for ourselves when struggling with the pain of a loved one’s overdose is to seek out grief counseling. Grief counseling is designed to help us navigate our very complex emotions around loss. While grief counseling couldn’t possibly answer all of our questions for us, we might find that it can help bring us greater clarity.
Self-Blame and Self-Forgiveness Following a Loved One’s Overdose
After a tragedy of this kind, it is natural and very understandable to question whether or not we played a part. Many of us will find ourselves instinctively blaming ourselves. Was it my fault? Why didn’t I do more?
At Athens Area Commencement Center, we understand these complex feelings and questions all too well, with many of our team having experienced addiction recovery firsthand.
Many of us feel as though we didn’t do enough to help or protect our loved one. Even if we tried everything in our power to help them, we might still blame ourselves. One of the most important things we can do is realize that this tragic turn of events was out of our control. Forgiving ourselves and unburdening ourselves of misplaced guilt and shame will help us to end the suffering we feel over any mistakes we may have made.
Our Loved One’s Addiction Experience is Out of Our Control
Grief counseling can help us see that our loved one’s overdose and their entire addiction story was out of our hands to begin with. For many of us, our loved ones were unwilling or unable to ask for help. They might not have sought out support, gone to counseling, or tried a treatment program such as Athens Area Commencement Center.
Addiction is not something we can control, manage, or fix for someone else. There is no way we could have changed the outcome or prevented the tragedy. This can be a hard truth to come to terms with. The guilt can be debilitating when we feel as though we could have done more to prevent a loved one’s overdose. We have to learn to forgive ourselves, and grief counseling can help us with this.
While we can support our loved ones along their journey, we cannot control their experience, and we cannot force their sobriety. Coming to this realization that we could not have fixed our loved one’s addiction or prevented them from overdosing can free us from the weight of undue responsibility we may have been feeling.
Support Group Meetings After a Loved One’s Overdose
Another way we can support ourselves in coping with a loved one’s overdose is to try attending Al-Anon meetings. Many of us are familiar with Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meetings, but there are also Al-Anon meetings specifically for the loved ones of those struggling with addiction.
We might find that going to support group meetings of our own can bring us tremendous comfort. With “mutual-help groups” like Al-Anon, we’re surrounded by others who are going through experiences similar to our own. Chances are we might meet another parent, friend, or partner also working to heal from the loss of their loved one to overdose. We can lean on one another for comfort and bring each other hope. Nothing can bring back the person we love, but actively seeking out comfort and hope can help us find some peace.
Self-Care and Managing Depression After a Loved One’s Overdose
When we’ve lost someone we love, our grief and sadness can, for many of us, lead to depression. Talk to your healthcare provider about any symptoms of depression you might be experiencing. These can include feelings of hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, or an “inability to manage painful emotions.” While we’re coping with our loss, we must also care for ourselves. Being in nature, getting exercise, and practicing gratitude are examples of ways we can support ourselves in our healing process.
Celebrating Our Love After a Loved One’s Overdose
Finally, it can bring us tremendous comfort to remember one simple truth: even in the midst of our grief, we can celebrate our loved ones. Losing them doesn’t mean we have to feel only sadness. Our loss doesn’t mean we have to let them go. We can keep alive all of the love we have for them.
Look back on your beautiful memories with fondness. All of the ways they brought you joy while they were alive can continue to bring you joy.
Maintaining Our Connection After Our Loved One’s Overdose
It can help to create an altar for your loved one with photographs, things that remind you of them, and precious items they loved. Keep talking about and celebrating them with other loved ones.
Many of us believe that our loved ones who have passed on are never truly gone. We can find incredible solace by continuing to talk to our loved ones, whether aloud or privately to ourselves.
Many of us comfort and soothe ourselves by remembering that we will be reunited with our loved ones someday. While we miss them dearly, we’re never actually separated from them.
There are ways we can care for ourselves as we struggle to cope with the loss of a loved one to an overdose. These can include attending grief counseling sessions and Al-Anon meetings and finding forms of self-care that help us with the deep sadness we feel. Even in the midst of our grief, we can continue to celebrate our loved one. Just like addiction recovery, recovering from the overdose of a loved one is not something we have to do on our own. We can find help, resources, and support as we navigate this incredibly difficult chapter. If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, call Athens Area Commencement Center for help at (706) 546-7355.