Of the many courageous steps we take in recovery, one of the most difficult is talking to loved ones about our addiction. This process can be especially emotionally charged when we’ve had conflict or misunderstanding with those loved ones in the past. Whether we first realize that we have a problem or we have to admit that we’ve relapsed, it’s so important to have these conversations with the people we care about.
Chances are, our loved ones already suspect we have a problem. Our struggles with addiction color every facet of our lives, from our home lives and personal relationships to our work lives and professional relationships. When we’re readying ourselves to broach the subject with people who know us well, it’s likely they’ve already come face to face with our addiction.
Talking to Loved Ones: Overcoming Fear and Denial
Our loved ones have most likely already been impacted negatively by our addiction. “Addiction is sufficiently stressful to cause pain and suffering to a large but uncounted number of adult affected family members.” They might have been on the receiving end of an angry outburst after we’d been drinking. Our substance abuse may have already led to serious conflicts between us. It’s possible our loved ones have been hesitant to bring up the subject out of fear they’d anger us.
Many of us have already been questioned by our loved ones. Perhaps we’ve responded to their concerns with frustration and defensiveness. These responses are often fueled by denial. We live in fear of having to admit this deep and personal secret of ours. We’ll do anything to prevent it from coming to light. As hard as it is to admit to ourselves that we have a problem, it can be even harder to admit it to our loved ones. Our fear of disappointing them deters us.
Healing Relationships: Talking to Loved Ones
For many of us, our addictions have already spiraled so out of control that they’ve caused harm to our loved ones and to our relationships. Because of the nature of the illness, “an addicted person continues to pursue drugs at the cost of incurring problems with their social status, financial stability, and family relations.” Oftentimes, our loved ones have already been suffering alongside us, whether or not we’ve talked about addiction with them yet.
For many of us, it takes years to muster the courage to bring up the subject. It’s so daunting that many of us never do it. We feel embarrassed and ashamed. The burden of our regrets weighs heavily on us. Very often, when we’re estranged from our loved ones, it’s largely due to our addiction and the damage it has done to our relationships.
Supporting Our Sobriety: Talking to Loved Ones
Repairing our close relationships is beneficial for our sobriety. The more at peace we are within ourselves and in our relationships, the stronger and more resilient we can be in our sobriety. Having family support can increase our chances for a successful recovery. The more support we have, the more likely we are to stay sober long-term. It can be frightening to admit that we have a problem, but it might be one of the best things we can do for our sobriety. The courage it takes to be honest with ourselves and with our loved ones is the same courage we will summon over and over again as we do the work to recover.
How do we initiate these conversations when it’s so hard talking to loved ones about our addiction?
Addiction Resources: Talking to Loved Ones
One helpful suggestion is to share addiction literature with our loved ones. Having informative material to read can make things easier for our loved ones to understand what we’re experiencing. Knowing we have the guidance and support of these resources can help ease some of the pressure we feel. Reading the material together might provide us with hope and can help to begin the healing process.
Talking to Loved Ones: Support Group Meetings
We can also invite our loved ones to attend a meeting with us. Support group meetings like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) can help our loved ones better understand addiction as a whole. Meetings can also help shed light and provide clarity on some of the things they may have already experienced. Hearing others share similar experiences might help reassure them that there is hope on the other side of this very scary chapter. They may even feel compelled to share their own stories as well.
Beginning Treatment: Talking to Loved Ones
If we’re considering entering rehab, this is another point we’ll want to make with our loved ones. It can be a source of tremendous comfort and hope to know there are treatment programs we can go to for help. Many programs, like those at Athens Area Commencement Center, offer family sessions to support both the client and their family.
Courage and Honesty: Talking to Loved Ones
Our experience of connecting with loved ones and our addiction experience as a whole is unique to each of us as individuals. There is no one set of instructions on how best to talk to loved ones about our addiction. All we can do is summon our courage, lead with love, and choose honesty. Our recovery and the health of our close relationships can benefit greatly from the deeper connections we create. Family sessions at treatment centers like Athens Area Commencement Center can support us as we rebuild these connections.
Though difficult, this process can bring with it tremendous rewards: a stronger support system along with more peace in our relationships, both of which help support our recovery.
Talking to loved ones about our addiction might be one of the hardest things we’ll have to do in our recovery. We’re afraid they’ll be disappointed in us. No one wants to let down the people they love. Being honest about our struggles with addiction, however, can help bring us closer to them. It’s so important to have the support of family and friends as we’re doing the challenging work to recover. You don’t have to do any of this alone. Call Athens Area Commencement Center at (706) 546-7355 for more information on how we can support you and your loved ones as you navigate this beginning chapter of your recovery.