Grief and loss are universal experiences, but many of us recovering from addiction face additional challenges unique to our addiction journeys. How we experience loss in our lives and how our addictions develop can be interconnected. Our addictions and other trauma-related mental illnesses can be complicated and exacerbated by our experiences with grief and mourning.
Our Trauma Responses to Grief and Loss
For many of us in recovery, our addictions began initially as a trauma response. Many of the traumatic experiences so many of us share in common have to do with loss and the grief that inherently accompanies it. Our addictions can develop as trauma responses to those painful losses.
Many of us are grieving profound loss and trauma and feel a deep sadness that we have a hard time coping with. We also experience other emotions that can be confusing and hard to understand, such as denial, anger, and resentment.
Our Drugs of Choice as Coping Mechanisms for Grief and Loss
As a response to trauma, any form of self-destructive pattern can become addictive and can even feel comforting. We can become dependent on anything that makes us feel even a little bit better. For many of us, it is an addictive substance like drugs or alcohol that temporarily numb our pain or distracts us from it.
Addiction is not just dependence on a substance. It is also a coping mechanism, a distraction tactic, and a means of escapism. Our patterns of addiction become our means of dealing with difficult emotions.
When we are feeling the immense pain of losing someone, our drug of choice becomes who we turn to. It can feel like a companion to us, even a replacement for the loved one we’ve lost. We come to rely on that thing that comforts us in our sadness and isolation. When we no longer have our loved one, an addictive substance can provide that sense of comfort and companionship we’re seeking.
Perpetuating Harmful Patterns From Grief and Loss
Ultimately, we learn that dependence is destructive and not at all comforting or nurturing. We experience drastic and painful consequences of our addictive patterns and harmful choices. Our patterns of relapse continue to hurt us and everyone around us. Very often, we are unknowingly perpetuating recurring patterns of more and more loss.
We might start drinking because of the pain of losing someone we love, but then the more we drink, the more people we lose. In time, we learn that we’re unconsciously repeating cycles and manifesting similar traumas. Our addiction that began with grief and loss ultimately creates more grief and loss.
Finding Healthier Alternatives to Coping With Grief and Loss
When we’re still in the grips of our grief, our drug of choice can feel as though it’s all we have. The pain of our loss can feel unbearable. We’re surrounded by triggers that remind us of our loss and reignite our grief. How do we find comfort and solace in healthier things? Because grief and loss are inevitable and inescapable parts of life, how can we learn to live with it? Can we let go of our patterns of using our addictions as a means of coping with loss?
Feeling Our Feelings to Heal From Grief and Loss
Perhaps the first step in moving through any painful emotion is to allow ourselves to feel it. A common saying is, “The only way through is through.” When we use our drug of choice to numb our pain, escape it, or distract ourselves from it, we only create more pain for ourselves. Our attempts to run from the pain only compound it. The process of sitting in our pain, practicing acceptance of it, and letting ourselves feel its full weight allows us to move through it.
Similarly, acknowledging and accepting that we’ve been using our drug of choice to cope with grief is an important step forward in our recovery. Reaching out to a treatment center like Athens Area Commencement Center might be one of the first steps you take in healing from both addiction and loss.
Self-Expression to Process Grief and Loss
Many of us find solace from our grief in writing. We journal about our feelings, writing them out in order to release them. It can be of tremendous comfort to write a letter to our loved one, telling them everything we weren’t able to say.
We might even find ourselves talking to our loved one. Many of us choose to believe that those we love are always with us beyond time and space.
Letting ourselves cry when we need to is another healthy way of coping with grief. Talking to a trusted loved one or therapist can be a great way of helping ourselves feel our emotions. Healthy self-expression provides an emotional and energetic release. When we express our emotions, we help prevent them from being so debilitating and all-consuming.
Finding Support to Help Navigate Grief and Loss
Grief counseling is a specialized form of therapy specifically designed to help us cope with feelings of grief and loss. This can be a powerful tool we can rely on when recovering from addiction. Similarly, there are grief support groups for those of us struggling with grief. Treatment programs like those at Athens Area Commencement Center can provide support as well as additional helpful resources for those of us working to heal from loss while also recovering from addiction.
Bottling up our feelings, running from them, or numbing them with addictive substances prevent us from actually healing from loss. In the end, our addictions cause us to create more loss for ourselves. Finding healthier ways of navigating grief and loss, practicing acceptance, and allowing ourselves to feel our emotions fully can help us to heal not only from those losses but from our addictions as well.
Grief and loss are powerful experiences that can cause us a great deal of pain. They can contribute to and even fuel our addictive patterns. When we’re feeling the pain of loss and also struggling with addiction, knowing we have support can make a world of difference. Find a grief support program, 12-Step program, therapist, or grief counselor that you feel safe with, and that can support you as you recover. The treatment programs of Athens Area Commencement Center include family therapy, individualized therapy sessions, group therapy, and 12-Step meetings to help you address both addictive patterns and difficult life experiences. Call us today at (706) 546-7355 for more information on how we can help.