When we have a loved one struggling with addiction, one of the hardest things we have to go through is watching them choose their drug of choice over their relationship with us. For many of us, it’s become a recurring pattern over many years. We’ve seen our loved one, whether a family member, partner, or friend, consistently prioritizing their substance of choice over us. Time and time again, they’ve ignored how we feel, including how worried and concerned we are for them. Even if it means losing us altogether, our loved one continues to choose their drug of choice over our feelings and our needs.
Range of Emotions: Choosing Their Drug of Choice
This is an extremely painful thing for us to experience. It is natural for us to feel a wide range of emotions, from disappointment to frustration to hopelessness. We feel deeply worried about our loved ones, and in moments of crisis, we may experience panic. Many of us may feel rejected when our loved one continues to choose their drug of choice over us. We might feel profound sadness, even grief, when they refuse to get help. Often, we feel as though we’re losing them.
Relinquishing Our Need for Control: Choosing Their Drug of Choice
There are many powerful lessons we learn as the loved ones of those struggling with addiction. One of these lessons is that we can’t control what our loved one does. We can’t take away their dependence on their drug of choice. Perhaps most importantly, we can’t control whether or not they get help, nor can we force them to choose sobriety. Only the person living with addiction can make the choice to get sober.
When your loved one is finally ready to make that choice, remind them of the benefits of getting professional help from a treatment center like Athens Area Commencement Center.
We can be there to support our loved ones when they’re ready to seek help, but ultimately, that is their choice to make for themselves. When we feel painful emotions around our loved ones choosing their drug of choice over us, it can help immeasurably to relinquish any need for control we might have been clinging to. The path of recovery is theirs alone to take, and there is only so much we can do. We can’t force or control; we can only be there to offer support.
Practicing Acceptance: Choosing Their Drug of Choice
Letting go of our need for control means practicing acceptance. If our loved one isn’t ready to get help, if they continue to choose their drug of choice, we must accept that and let go of trying to control the outcome. We must accept that they are on their own path. Until they’re ready to get help, this means they might continue to choose their drug of choice. We must practice acceptance of this, as difficult as that might be.
If your loved one is looking for help, encourage them to reach out to a professional treatment center such as Athens Area Commencement Center.
Addiction Is an Illness: Choosing Their Drug of Choice
Another important lesson we learn is that addiction is not a choice our loved one is making. Addiction is, in fact, an illness. When we understand the disease concept of addiction, we begin to see that our loved one isn’t actually choosing their drug of choice. They are mentally, emotionally, and physically dependent on that substance. Their addiction is not just an emotional attachment; it is a biochemical dependence. Our loved ones are not making the rational, clear-minded choice to use. They are actually not acting in their right mind. Addictive substances impair judgment and cloud rational thinking. Under the influence of their drug of choice, and when in withdrawal from it, our loved one is not thinking clearly.
Before they’re in recovery, they are not their true selves. They are another version of themselves that is dependent on a substance that forces them to care only about that substance and how to get more of it. From this perspective, we can begin to understand that our loved one isn’t actually choosing their drug of choice over us. They’re not somehow failing their moral responsibility or choosing to give up on their relationship with us. In fact, they are living with an illness that is all-consuming, that has undermined their free will and robbed them of their freedom of choice.
Fighting a Battle for Survival: Choosing Their Drug of Choice
In reality, our loved ones are enduring a battle that is much larger than their relationship with us. They are fighting for their own survival and inner peace. When they make the choice to get sober and do the work to recover, that is one of the hardest things they’ll ever do in their lives. Rather than taking their choices personally, we can remember that they’re not, in fact, choosing their drug of choice over us. They are, actually, fighting for their lives. We can do our part to help them by being there to support them as they undergo that fight.
Watching our loved ones struggle with addiction can be unbelievably painful. We’re forced to watch as they destroy their health, their relationships, and their lives. We can find ourselves feeling helpless, hopeless, and powerless. What appears to be their repeatedly choosing their drug of choice is actually just a symptom of the illness. It is not a rational, clear-minded choice they are making. It is the result of their overwhelming dependence on an addictive substance. If your loved one is struggling with addiction, one of the best things you can do is encourage them to seek help. Offer to be there with them when they reach out for professional help, and call Athens Area Commencement Center at (706) 546-7355.